Cousin Bette was released in 1998. It is based on the novel written by Honore’de Balzac. The film was directed by Des McAnuff.

This pretty much sums up Cousin Bette. Sigh… Balzac. I feel so betrayed…

Cousin Bette is played by Jessica Lange. In the opening scene Bette is at the bedside of her dying cousin whom she has spent most of her life serving. Bette carries a flaming torch for the Baron Hector Hulot (Hugh Laurie). He is the dying cousin’s husband. Bette believes that once her cousin is dead she will get her man. He asks her to become his housekeeper instead.

Bette quickly transfers her adoration to a penniless and much younger man (Aden Young). He is an artist that Bette sets out to rescue. Baron Hulot in the meantime has cast his affections to a young dancer who is played by Elizabeth Shue. Hulot is not alone in his love for her. I think that at one point or another every member of the cast makes their way to her dressing room. The Baron’s young and beautiful daughter Hortense (Kelly Macdonald) takes a shine to young artist boy. She plots to snare him even though she is fully aware of Bette’s feelings for him. Artist boy, predictably, shines right back.

You know within the first ten minutes of this film that things are not going to work out for Bette. And, of course they don’t. Everybody falls for exactly the person to whom he or she is the least suited. If this family owned a dog it would fall for the first giraffe it laid eyes on. Nobody bothers to fall for Bette.

!Pop Goes the Spinster!

This is when Bette decides to get even. She is intent upon seeing to the financial and personal ruin of everybody who has ever abused her. So, whack…heads start rolling in a fiery haze of menopausal rage. Wouldn’t it be way cooler if that was how it went? Sigh… In truth Bette bides her time and actually has to do very little. The family is halfway to the poor house and almost as morally bankrupt anyway. It is more a matter of her making a few crafty suggestions and then stepping back to watch as all the pretty little pieces fall.

I risk giving the end away by saying that the angry lady in the ugliest dress always wins!

Hugh Laurie and everybody in this film play their parts well. I hated them all upon introduction. Excepting Cesar Creval (Bob Hoskins), I rather liked him. If you enjoy period pieces and the “getting even” type of movie, pop up the corn and cozy in, this ones for you! The costumes are stunning and Jessica Lange is eerily good. Our man does a great job too. He makes the most of a weak -chinned watered down sort of guy. You almost feel sorry for him.

The one scene in this movie that I would dearly love to discuss is not appropriate for such a public forum. I shall remain quiet…and die of apoplexy.

Okay…I cannot resist saying that my liking for the long full skirts and petticoats of the era has suddenly increased…exponentially. I suggest that we send up an urgent cry for their immediate return. Now this makes me smile!

Cyndi’s pick for Most Rewindable Scene, failing the obvious choice: “Clueless Baron Pats Street Urchin on Head and Gives Him a Coin…” It is the mobbing after that gets the giggles.